Meat baby new year!

Well Happy New Year to everyone! I hope you're end of the celebration all went well. I, for one had a marvelous, uneventful time. As we toasted to the New Year, a year filled with potential I began to imagine a year absent of the constant random and often dire circumstances that seemed to find their way to my door. Could this new year be a year of quiet reflection by fires with books? Could it be a time of quiet cups of tea. I suppose, having a half cousin like Basil automatically excludes a quiet cup of tea. At any rate I finished the year quite happy. And so I entered into 2007, just as everyone else upon this round world of ours. Why did I not suspect, that as I celebrated a rather unscrupulous individual was making their way to my house. We returned home and slept soundly. The plans for my New Years were to have a nice meal. Often pork and sauerkraut is what we eat, I had the ingredients in the fridge. As I was bustling about getting things prepared someone knocked at my front door. I peered around the corner. The Rotting Corpse Boy, whom we've just been calling Rodney as of late, answered the door. There stood a creature I had never seen before. He hastily pushed his way in past Rodney. “I...erm...need to find the New Year's Baby...I am an official person, and it is important.” I looked at him, from his strange legs to the umbrella he kept open, even indoors. “Right.” I replied as I returned to my work. The Rotting Corpse Boy walked over to me and whispered. “He's a creature from the depths of the earth, I heard about them when I was buried for so long.” The creature, who must have had impeccable ears looked at us. “I am not from deep in the earth, I am instead from your place of leadership, looking for the New Year's Baby!” “Why would we even have such a thing?” Rodney asked. “It is here, I know it.” The creature insisted. “Deep in the ear...I mean in the official building of your elected officials, I encountered a man by the name of G. George Fatts III. He told me of this place, where the baby was.” The Rotting Corpse Boy scratched his head. I pulled him aside. “This guy's not going to leave, G. George has a bit of a grudge against me, and wherever he met this fellow he told him a magnificent lie, just to give us a hard time, we've got to think of something.” Rodney nodded. He went to the counter and quickly grabbed a lump of meat that had been sitting there to thaw. I, meanwhile engaged this creature, he of course, gave very pathetic answers and told me a very pathetic cover story. “So are you an aide to the Emperor or something?” I asked. “Yeah, that's...um that's it.” He tried to smile. Clearly, we had no Emperor, this guy was really lying. Just then the Rotting Corpse Boy returned, holding the lump of meat, however it was made up like a baby. “This is it, our New Year's Baby.” He frowned as he handed it to the creature. Immediately after receiving it the monster chortled. “FOOLS! Now we, the people from deep in the earth have taken your infant of opportunity, this New Year! Now we shall be the ones who can revel in glory at the prospect of new potential!” He let out a raspy laugh as he rushed out the front door, in his haste forgetting to bring his umbrella. As he exited the sunlight hit his eyes. He shook his head and began to stagger around. We both watched as he wandered back to us. “the sun is really bright, can I get my umbrella?” We gave it to him and off he ran, laughing darkly as he went. I looked at Rodney and shrugged, this year was bound to hold something worth experiencing indeed...