Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Knifin' Around

So today I answered the door, I looked and saw no one, but as I closed it a shrill voice called out. “Hoorary! I’m here to visit!” I looked down; it was the happy knife son of the happy knife neighbors next door. “Hoorary I wish to borrow sugar!” He squealed. “For cookies!!” I looked at him and shrugged. “Sure buddy.” But as I turned to go to the kitchen I heard a dark laugh. I turned around to see the happy knife son neighbor come flying at me through the air, a dark glare in his eyes. “I’m also here to murder!!” I should pause to mention, this happens somewhat frequently with these neighbors, they moved in sometime last year. Boy, do they keep my life interesting. It I shouted and the corpse boy from Castcom came over, “Woah!” He shouted, a flying knife boy!” He jumped in the way and the knife son pierced him, of course he didn’t feel a thing, instead he plucked the knife son out of his chest and slid him into the wooden knife block in the kitchen. “Here’s the sugar.” I said as I handed it to him, he nodded and took them both next door. Then I went back to working on my projects.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

EZ Pass Egypt!

I was out driving for a while and I had to get onto the turnpike. No problem right? When is that ever the case with me...seriously. I leaned out the window to get my ticket when SHUMP it was consumed by the machine. I pulled over and went to the window, the lady looked at me and I explained the situation. She quickly printed me a new ticket and slid open the window, she extended her hand, only to have the ticket sucked upward. It was caught in the vile hands of the KING EMPEROR NIGHTMARE EGYPTIAN MONSTER #XIII. He snickered as he floated menacingly over the toll plaza. “You shall never be able to use the turnpike insolent fool!” I was confounded, for I quickly tried a flying ninja kick and released a few white doves through a burning ring of fire just for effect...nothing. Woo, I was tired by that point. I slumped into my car, feeling completely defeated. It was then that I sat upon a flute given to me by a strange old man a number of years ago. I quickly pulled it out and held it aloft, knowing that Medieval flute music was the little-known cure for all variations of the Nightmare Egyptian Monster!! As I began my song the beast began to belch fire. The toll plaza erupted into flames and drivers took this opportunity to speed on through, toll-free...except for it sucked for the people getting on because when they got off, no ticket...As my song finished the beast split into four pieces and flew off in each of the cardinal directions. The lady in the toll both nearest me (which conveniently survived) handed me the legendary EZ PASS INFINITY! Thanks toll roads...now I can drive forever!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

She has gone mad...

Well, um...Bella has been busy, that's about all I can say. This past week has been madness, sheer and absolute insanity. Besides finding out more about the mysterious tag-a-long from Castcom (I'll go into more detail later, there is enough there to be an entire post in-and-of itself) Bella has made my life a mess for the time being. When the boy and I returned no one was home, that was Sunday afternoon, by the evening I had an unexpected guest...chaos. I heard footsteps approaching the door, with a bang my front door opened as Bella kicked it open. “HAH HAH HAH!” She laughed wildly. “Faux, you MUST see this!” “What's up?” I asked hesitantly. Bella grinned madly as she held up an old sack with a moderately-sized round object inside. She hurled it onto the kitchen table and slumped into a chair. I slowly and cautiously opened the bag, as soon as I saw it's contents I drew back. It was a HEAD! “Grow a backbone!” She sneered as she pulled the contents out onto the table. Before us laid the head of the Witch of Cornwall. “You...killed her!” I shouted. She shook her head impatiently. “I decapitated her, I didn't kill her.” “What's the difference?” I shouted. “The difference is that I'm still alive.” The Witch spoke as she opened one eye and peered angrily at us. “How is that possible?” I backed up a few steps. It was then that I bumped into the boy from Castcom, I stopped questioning then. “Why did you do this?” I pressed. “To save my brother.” Bella replied coldly. “Mercy Boswell!” I exclaimed, where is he?” “He's right here.” Bella sighed as she pulled a small figure from her pocket. “Confound it Bella!” A tiny voice shouted. She gently placed him in my hands where I could get a better look at him. Once again, he was an imp, but this time he was no larger than a tea bowl. I nearly fell over from the shock of it all. “Why?” I asked. “His protection.” Bella replied nonchalantly. “I couldn't sit around, you have to understand that.” I shrugged and took another glance at the very frustrated Boswell. “Clearly.” Was the only word I could muster.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Recollection in Color

On the way home from my arduous journey I encountered two odd individuals. One was named Mortimer, the other named Bellamy. The climate was dry, in fact it was a dessert area, similar to what you see in movies, a long stretch of road with no one around. However, as I drove I noticed a small dark spot in the distance. The strange boy from Castcom was resting in the back seat and I didn't think this to be a large enough problem to bother him. The dark patch grew bigger as I neared it, and then I began to see what it was...Bellamy and Mortimer stood arguing with one another atop a large ball. It had many designs in it, including a curious one involving the letter A. Naturally, since I couldn't really get around it I stopped to see what was the matter. “You just don't care, That is your problem!” Bellamy shouted. “Wrong, I do care, I would not be on top of this ball if I did!” Mortimer retorted. “Gentlemen” I politely interrupted. “What seems to be the issue here?” Bellamy looked down at me. “He wants to roll this ball! But he can't, he simply doesn't understand what that would do...” “It would ruin your comfort perhaps but don't you see what you've become, the place in which you find comfort is not a comfortable place at all!” Mortimer snapped back. Bellamy scowled. “How can you make that judgment call, you are not me. I will not allow you to roll on this ridiculous you have conceived. It is a very stupid idea.” Mortimer shook his head. “I do not agree friend. Why do you hold such an opinion?”

Because it is proved by fact!” Bellamy nodded. “Wrong!” Mortimer yelled. “It is accepted by the general public, but know this friend, seldom is the general public ever correct.” At this the ball shook a little. “You disregard public opinion and the greater good because you don't care enough.” The ball planted itself once more. I had heard enough. At this point I jumped in. “It is not a matter of not caring, he chooses not to care because he has thought through it and arrived at this conclusion. He has done more thinking and evaluation than many who agree with the general opinion. He is not apathetic out of ignorance but apathetic because he has come to a level of greater understanding!” Mortimer looked at Bellamy as Bellamy quivered. “But apathy is apathy!” “Or is the latter form something completely different?” With that Bellamy clenched his hands and vanished into a flash of sparks. Mortimer waved down to me, for by that point the ball had begun to roll slowly onward. It was not deterred by any means but remains slow and steady. “Thank you friend, with two my ball has begun to roll once more, with more it will roll faster!” His voice echoed as the distant desert swallowed him up. I watched until he was nothing more than a speck and drove home...

 
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